this is Zadie.

she was sc ared of seeing herself in the webcam haha,
but ain't she cute.

cute photos by Stefania Paparelli.

sleeping in fields.

yesterday, after our family christmas celebrations had died down we all went to the beach and then me, christian and mike set out to have our own christmas dinner only to be let down by all the supermarkets being closed. so we had noodle canteen in the middle of a huge field haha and it was surprisingly beautiful! and so after opening presents with christmas music, candlelight, eggnog, christmas "be merry" tea, christmas cookies and japanese sake, we kidnapped maria and went back to the field to sleep under the stars. it was a magical ending to christmas day. 

but there's more festivity, food and presents to come tonight with another family bbq before our friends christmas dinner at the flat.

and today i went shopping woooooooo :) i have so many summer dresses now, i love it!

and to add to officially having the best boyfriend ever, i have the best friends ever.

happy birthday jesus.

i love all the festivity that comes with christmas :) here's some snapshots from my christmas eve dinner.

our yummy cocktails :)

candlelit dinner..

and, i officially have the best boyfriend ever.

ah.

i hope everyone is having an amazing christmas- and remember, jesus is the reason for the season!

tag!

yay, thanks Amanda(Here Comes The Sun) for tagging me.
the rules: share six things that make you happy and tag six amazing starry-eyed bloggers!

tag, you're it!

Girl Meets NYC

my Lens Of love

Soir de Fete

Thumbelina
Endless Dreams
nicest things

and six things that make me happy:

1. mewithoutYou

i don't know what it is about them, but there's something about their music, and it captivates me. Aaron Wiess is a lyrical genius.

2. Summer!

everything about summer makes me happy- the sun, the beach, being on holiday, summer dresses, the sea and swimming in it day and night, bonfires, beach hair, sunglasses and bikinis, flatting at the mount, road trips with the windows right down, tanning, summer soundtracks, days that go on forever.. i could go on..

3. Photography by Lina Scheynuis

www.linascheynius.com 

4. Zadie and Zion

okay, so i don't have pictures to show you yet but Zadie and Zion are the two kittens that J and Steph got for the flat yesterday and they are soooo ADORABLE!! they're six weeks old and are the cutest balls of fluff i've ever seen. and oh, when they run! it's so cute!

5. Tim

this picture was taken the night that he asked me to be his girlfriend. he's making a funny face and it makes me happy.

and,

6.  holding hands..

it's cute.

does it really matter?

i'm trying, i'm trying, i'm trying to figure out what it is that really matters.

i'm trying, i'm trying, i'm trying to figure out if it really matters.

i'm trying, i'm trying, i'm trying to figure out if anything really matters.

what is it, in this world, that really does matter? what is important? is there anything? anything worthy of our attention and our devotion? is there anything really worthy of putting my time into? what should i focus on? what should i desire? where, oh where, are the answers...? where should i look? my scenery is littered with messages of materialism and all things temporary. and what, if any, of these things really matter? 

is it the clothes, the fashion, the style, the way we fix our hair and what we put on our face or the way we walk and the way we talk that is the definitive factor of who we are? really, really...what are these things in comparison to who we are? what makes us? what makes me? who am i? who do you say i am? does it matter? what is opinion but a wavering thought, and why should we let it affect us? why should we let the perspective of another make us, let it tell us who we are and what to make of life, what to do with life?

what is it that i should put into this life? does that define what i will get out of it? should i jump forward, one foot in front of the other in careless bounds and leaps or shall i reserve myself, and tread with caution...? should i protect myself from heartbreak or let go with no fear of being hurt... what should i make of this life? is there anything here, on this earth, that will stand the test of time? does it all really matter?

because i'm trying, i'm trying, i'm trying to figure out what it is that really matters.

i'm trying, i'm trying, i'm trying to figure out if it really matters.

i'm trying, i'm trying, i'm trying to figure out if anything really matters.

(photography by Stefania Paparelli)

catch for us the foxes.

(Lina Scheynius photography)

So turn your ears, you musicians, to silence. Because they only come out when it's quiet, their tails brushing over your eyelids... Oh, wake up, sleepers, and rise from the dead! Or the fur that they shed that's gonna lay on your bed, in a delicate orange-ish cinnamon red...ah, but I don't need this! I don't need this! For I have my loves...I don't need this.

and when the night is cloudy, there is still a light.

I finally watched Across The Universe the other night and l-o-v-e-d it..

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup. 

They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe..

Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting through my open mind, possessing and caressing me

Images of broken light, which dance before me like a million eyes, 

that call me on and on across the universe..
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box,

they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe..

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in this world agree, 

There will be an answer, let it be.

For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, 

There will be an answer, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

There will be an answer, let it be.

and i also love this spring 09 collection from french designer Heimstone.

especially the floaty coral dress. and the leather jackets.

it's been a few days and i've had a fun weekend including Rachels 18th, an acoustic show, friday night with Janelle and saturday night with Tim, summer hangouts at the beach and Js pool, catch ups with my sister and family christmas dinner with my cousins before they move back to england. and so today i just cleaned up from last night, hung out with Mike for a bit and then got free dinner from work :) i hope it's sunny tomorrow so i can go to the beach.

yeah, i'll tell you something, i think you'll understand, when i say the something..

 i wanna hold your hand, i wanna hold your hand, i wanna hold your hand.

yeah you, you got that something, i think you'll understand, when i feel that something..

i wanna hold your hand, i wanna hold your hand, i wanna hold your hand.

the sky is full of dreams but i don't know how to fly.

(photography by Lina Scheynius)

today it was raining which i would usually say was dumb considering i'm on summer holidays and wish for the beach everyday but it wasn't dumb because tim took the day off work and we watched movies all day. and we put up our christmas tree tonight, i was hoping that it would somehow make it feel like the holiday season but it still doesn't feel like christmas time and it's crazy to think that in two and a half weeks it'll have come and gone. i think a few more decorations and gingerbread lattes in starbucks christmas cups and family dinners and missy higgins albums will put me in the mood. i'm not even concerned about receiving gifts this year, but i want to make some people smile and i've started making some cutesy things for some special people and it's reminding me of the amazing friends i have..speaking of which,  janelle surprised me with a big smile and a pretty bunch of flowers just in time to make my day today. the day which is going to be out in 36 minutes, and so i'm going to retire in hope of some sweet sweet dreams.

i wish.

i found this fabric in the scraps pile at a fabric store today, i haven't made anything in a while and i thought while the weathers taking a break from being amazingly sunny i should do something productive and make another skirt..

and see this necklace-

Christian made it for me for my birthday. the picture doesn't show it really well, but it says my name..he's so rad. i have the coolest friends. J got me an old singer vintage hand crank sewing machine, it's so wicked! and they took me on a romantic picnic at the beach as the sun was setting  with wine and strawberries and chocolate cake and candles..the works! and then we celebrated with everyone at Nautilus on saturday- i love that place, it's looks out over the water to the mount and it's so pretty. Antony played some tunes and it was wicked, just really chill. i'll get photos to post from the last weekend soon, i have to go to work in a minute.

i've spent every sunny dat at the beach for the last couple weeks, i love summer so much. i am blessed to live in such a beautiful place. todays a bit grey though, not beach weather but that's okay..i'll stick with that theme.

i wish you didn't have to go.

yesterday was so much fun.

yesterday Tim took me to auckland for my birthday and took me to rainbows end cause i had never been before haha but it was a surprise until we got there and he made me ride the roller coaster four times and go on the fear fall twice, i was so scared, but it was so much fun. and last night we went to Kanye West and that was epic. the sound at vector arena is extremely average but it was still a really good show. so i say again, yesterday was so much fun.

these are so cute.

end of school/exams party today! i love summer!

and i've found the only words that fit scribbled on a wall somewhere.

words don't work for me anymore.

i've been trying for conversations and i've been trying for prayer and i've been trying to find the words but i think i've lost them somewhere and i've been searching in every place but every place has failed me and words just don't work for me anymore and it hardened my heart and removed my emotions and i've refused to look you in the eye and refused to let you in out of fear that my emotions would be too much to handle but you've been trying to teaching me not to fear and just to trust and to let it out and to let it go but it's taken this long for me to let you teach me and so far all i know is that you've taught me it's okay to cry and i'm not even going to pretend that picking up myself and straightening my clothes and wiping away my tears will make everything be okay because i can't pretend that there's some sort of answer to this sort of question and it's like i'm at a dead end and i only want to go forward but there's a not-so-imaginary wall that i'm about to stumble into and i have no option but to take myself and all my needs and wants and wishes and desires and go back to the start.

only by the night.

i want to go to Kings Of Leon so badly..

i had my last exam today and it feels sooo good to be free! no school no exams no nothing for like three months! summer's officially here for me! i'm so happy!

and lastly,

i'm so stoked on this lace fabric i found at an op shop the other day for $5! this is what i made:

this is hard.

coldplay lyrics would be fitting today wouldn't they?

sigh.

my head hurts. i've had a crazy headache for the last couple days and i'm just over tired and dizzy. i can't find my diary under the masses of junk in my bedroom as a result of coming home last night and chucking all my bags and everything from my bed on the floor and collapsing in bed. it's annoying, i didn't realize i relied on it so much.

i  really like these pictures of Cory.

and this is because i'm bored and extremely talented at procrastinating..

4 things I did today: it's only 11 am but i have
-woken up to Nates birthday invitation.
-make alterations on two dresses i bought from an op shop yesterday.
-received the silliest relationship advice ever heard from my mother.
-experienced mewithoutYou (listening to them is an experience that includes listening, dancing, singing- and i bit of shouting- and a whole lot of inspiration)

..that reminded me i need to eat breakfast.

4 things on my to do list today:
-cancel booking for my birthday at Soho and confirm numbers and make booking at Nautilus.
-study for my history exam.
-make skirt from the lace fabric i bought the other day.
-decide on a dress to wear to Amandas wedding.

4 of my guiltiest pleasures:
-wasting my time on the internet instead of studying.
-eating mi goreng noodles. in bulk ..so terribly bad for me.
-the vintage 'come to papa' chair we bought for the flat the other day. it's so comfortable i will race you to it and kill you if you get there first.
-dreaming of how things could be and ignoring the fact that some things just can't happen.

4 random facts about me:
-i have 8 pillows and cushions on my bed and can't sleep properly without them.

-i love history. it's my favorite subject after sewing and i would come to school just for history this year when most people wagged that period.
-i love Michael Jackson. i still listen to the record i have from when he was black.
-i love to wear heels. although my boyfriend wishes i wore nike air force ones haha.

and this picture makes me happy.

life is so happy.

it always is. 

i was telling my mum the plans i have for the next few weeks as we drove home today and she said to me: "ayla, why don't you just stop and slow down, you're doing so much." 

why? why would i want to? i don't understand. i'm doing all i want to do and having fun but i'm still enjoying lazy days and the experiencing the beauty that life holds. 

i told her: "it's because this is the best time of my life and i want to make the most of it" 

"but that's what you said last year" 

"yeah. and i'll say it every year from now until they're all gone, because every year is the best year when you make the most of what you have."

i discovered Elisabeth Arkhipoff in Russh when Rebecca was doing my hair for her course today. i really love her art work: